The Park (by John Kelly)

(As performed during the Edinburgh Festival and at Portobello Park celebration day)
(Reproduced with kind permission)

When the park was sold to the town council in the nineteenth century it was a condition of the sale that it should be a park in perpetuity. It was strictly laid down in the deeds that there should be no building on the park. It was laid out as a municipal golf course and open to the public.

Things never stay the same, however, and the town became absorbed into the city and the city council took over the work of the former town council.

Nevertheless it was well understood that the park would remain the same as ever.

That remained the case for well over a hundred years.

The former town (now a district of the council) went downhill after that. One bone of contention was the school. The city had built a new school in the sixties and it was typical of its age ­ a monstrosity. Moreover it had been neglected. It was well past time to build a new school.

The Councillor had no doubts about it. The park would have to go. He discovered a loophole in the law and exploited it for all it was worth.

Plans were drawn up to build a new school and a housing estate on the park, the sale of the latter to pay for the former.

The Head Teacher was delighted. He had been newly appointed and thought the state of the school was a disgrace.

The Elderly Resident was not at all pleased, however.

He thought the council’s responsibility was not only to provide a school, but also to maintain the park. He thought it was outrageous to play one off against the other.

He protested and he was not the only person to do so.

There were some who were desperate for a new school for their children and they clutched at the straw offered them, but the golfers, walkers, joggers and many of the local residents were appalled. They felt the ground had opened beneath them. What had happened to the condition of sale?

The Councillor explained that there had been a change in the law that permitted their building on parkland.

This was news to the residents and there was an outcry.

There was a campaign, of course, and the Councillor had a hard time explaining how the goalposts had moved. The council bought a field on the outskirts of the city and the Councillor claimed they had created a green field site for a new golf course.

Somebody asked what colour the site had been before it had been created green, but the irony was lost on the Councillor.

The Councillor got his way, of course, because the ruling party was so powerful it could do virtually whatever it wanted and the political “spin” machine soon saw off the objectors. They were depicted as haters of children who were depriving the younger generation of a good start in life and standing in the way of progress.

Eventually the beautiful new school was built and it was called Park High School. It even stayed beautiful for a few years until it succumbed to the usual wear and tear.

The rest of the park was a building site for years and the flats did not sell as well as the Councillor had expected. So many developers had jumped on the band wagon that there was a glut in flats, but in the fullness of time the park became a housing estate with its school serving the whole of the district, a huge school, the biggest in the city. It was easy for a pupil to be lost in such a school.

The new housing estate was just across the road from a council housing scheme and in time a great rivalry grew up among the local youths. The incomers who had bought houses on the erstwhile park were branded as “snobs” by some of the worst elements in the housing scheme. They were in the minority, but they made their presence felt and gradually relations between the estate and the scheme worsened.

The upshot was that two gangs were formed, the self-styled Park Pirates and the Team from the Scheme. They called one another the Park Poofs and the Scheme Scunners respectively. There were some high jinks as a result.

The gang fights spilled over into the school in time and the vandalism that resulted eventually scarred the school building not to mention the effect it had on the erstwhile "new" flats.

The school gradually became run down because of council neglect and unsuitable for its use. It did not even last the forty years its predecessor had.

It was a real headache for the council, but the Councillor who had been responsible for destroying the park was no longer a councillor. He had moved on to become a Member of Parliament. It was no longer his concern.

The Head Teacher had taken early retirement because of stress and the school declined once more.

In the meantime the Elderly Resident had died.

The whole district sank deeper into depression. Something had to be done.

One day the Council called in an expert to advise them on what to do. He was famous for his innovative thinking and forward looking ideas.

"I think," he said, after long deliberation, "what this district really needs is a park."

All rights reserved © 2006